I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
