It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
