yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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