you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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