Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
