I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
