just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!