someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.