Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Haha how much did you smoke

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  4 feet of smokeee!

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  (570): "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another? (609): Haha how much did you smoke (570): 4 feet of smokeee! http://tfl.nu/eyp0
  Replies (20) Good night (3507) Bad night (626)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?

  (845): View more from New York

  Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.

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  (302): Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one? (845): Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides. http://tfl.nu/6dzh
  Replies (125) Good night (4815) Bad night (648)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab

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  (425): If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab http://tfl.nu/ezlg
  Replies (8) Good night (3128) Bad night (919)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.

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  (314): I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle. http://tfl.nu/i8jn
  Replies (35) Good night (4641) Bad night (824)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.

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  (734): I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out. http://tfl.nu/oiev
  Replies (5) Good night (2869) Bad night (1210)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.

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  (928): OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED. http://tfl.nu/kgw5
  Replies (60) Good night (718) Bad night (1850)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.

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  (250): I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not. (250): A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop. http://tfl.nu/aiao
  Replies (13) Good night (1258) Bad night (665)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.

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  (603): Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes. http://tfl.nu/6vyp
  Replies (4) Good night (338) Bad night (742)
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  (415): View more from California

  theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?

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  (415): theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours? http://tfl.nu/bjo4
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (758)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.

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  (+44): mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string. http://tfl.nu/2xqf
  Replies (15) Good night (478) Bad night (1738)
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  (530): View more from California

  My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.

  (916): View more from California

  That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.

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  (530): My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo. (916): That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone. http://tfl.nu/d9c7
  Replies (1) Good night (2010) Bad night (470)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.

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  (609): Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend. http://tfl.nu/bphq
  Replies (5) Good night (1324) Bad night (494)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.

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  (613): Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again. http://tfl.nu/4a7s
  Replies (7) Good night (334) Bad night (1286)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

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  (+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355
  Replies (7) Good night (2103) Bad night (294)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job

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  (778): I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job http://tfl.nu/qp1e
  Replies (0) Good night (482) Bad night (171)

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