Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines

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(515): Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines http://tfl.nu/x6qw

Replies (98) Good night (741) Bad night (3216)
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(858): View more from California

i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..

(720): View more from Colorado

yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures

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(858): i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume.. (720): yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures http://tfl.nu/ebwm

Replies (7) Good night (3052) Bad night (642)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own

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(864): i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own http://tfl.nu/koat

Replies (13) Good night (731) Bad night (4054)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

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(859): The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know. http://tfl.nu/3jb2

Replies (17) Good night (5917) Bad night (778)
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(303): View more from Colorado

i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk

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(303): i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk http://tfl.nu/s9es

Replies (25) Good night (6110) Bad night (1080)
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(315): View more from New York

some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"

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(315): some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!" http://tfl.nu/pcn6

Replies (18) Good night (4432) Bad night (977)
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(620): View more from Kansas

She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever

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(620): She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever http://tfl.nu/3n5f

Replies (26) Good night (5481) Bad night (1287)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.

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(570): Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood. http://tfl.nu/z2ka

Replies (13) Good night (3536) Bad night (1309)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.

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(919): You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad. http://tfl.nu/r24i

Replies (12) Good night (1230) Bad night (2231)
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(972): View more from Texas

The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard

(972): View more from Texas

OHHH and there was a Batman too.

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(972): The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard (972): OHHH and there was a Batman too. http://tfl.nu/jx09

Replies (13) Good night (1404) Bad night (634)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I feel a five day drunk coming on.

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(217): I feel a five day drunk coming on. http://tfl.nu/u0qx

Replies (4) Good night (1184) Bad night (620)
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(585): View more from New York

Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.

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(585): Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job. http://tfl.nu/1yot

Replies (1) Good night (817) Bad night (553)
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(734): View more from Michigan

If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.

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(734): If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward. http://tfl.nu/ahbe

Replies (7) Good night (1114) Bad night (445)
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(772): View more from Florida

He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina

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(772): He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina http://tfl.nu/eog8

Replies (14) Good night (1672) Bad night (441)
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(562): View more from California

I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.

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(562): I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help. http://tfl.nu/iwuh

Replies (3) Good night (447) Bad night (344)

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