So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
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I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras