Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
