so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
