I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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