I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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