What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
