I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
