I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
