i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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