I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
