omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
