I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
