Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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