Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
