The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
