this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
