Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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