You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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