I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
