I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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