it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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