Dual....:-)
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
