if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
