That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
