If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
