Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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