Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
