doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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