It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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