I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
