Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
