In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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