You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
