I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
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I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
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So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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