Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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