I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
