I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
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It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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