bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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