his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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