yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
