well you can't waste a boner
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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