babies were throwing up all over the place
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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