Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
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