He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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