Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
