how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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