oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
