I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize