He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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