I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
