Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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