the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
