do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
