I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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