Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
