and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
