Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
