he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
