dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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