I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize