i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
