Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize